Essay - Helping Dying Prisoners Has Taught Me to Be More Compassionate
"He smiled and seemed grateful that somebody seemed to care about his well-being, even in prison, this land of the condemned."
The following essay titled "Helping Dying Prisoners Has Taught Me to Be More Compassionate" is written by Larry N. Stromberg and appeared on the Prison Journalism Project website. Excerpts are below.
*****
As I walked by the infirmary, I saw somebody new was in one of the medical cells. The four-bed cells are for inmates who are sick or awaiting a future operation. Each cell has a 55-inch TV for the patients to watch during their time living at the infirmary at State Correctional Institution – Phoenix, about 35 miles outside Philadelphia.
The infirmary is a clean and sterile place, and it operates like a typical medical center out in society.
Sadly, I’ve seen many men die there. I can’t be desensitized to this reality.
Joe introduced himself too: “I’m a lifer dying from a brain tumor and full-blown bone cancer.”
I was taken aback by his honesty. I felt sad for him. I felt helpless that I couldn’t do anything to heal this man. I also thought how I would feel if I were in this man’s shoes, dying of cancer in a prison infirmary cell, awaiting my turn to leave this Earth.
“I’m here to help you the best I can,” I told him. “I’m here to talk to you, even pray for you, Joe.”
He smiled and seemed grateful that somebody seemed to care about his well-being, even in prison, this land of the condemned.
The last day I saw him, his eyes were wide open. I heard each gasping breath on his ventilator. Joe died that day. I cried.
I guess my tears expressed a combination of sorrow and joy. I was glad that Joe was moving on to his next life, a place where sorrow, guilt, loss and pain no longer existed. It had pained my heart to see him endure such agony.
Joe died with true courage. He inspired me.
Since then, I’ve met many men who later died in the infirmary. Some had life sentences and others were awaiting a parole date. They all became my friends.
Each inspired me to be a man of more compassion, a man who continued to dream and refused to be desensitized by the system, a man who clung to hope with each dream and each breath, even while enduring death by incarceration.
*****
You can read the full essay, "Helping Dying Prisoners Has Taught Me to Be More Compassionate" by Larry N. Stromberg, an incarcerated writer in Pennsylvania, at the Prison Journalism Project website. The Prison Journalism Project aims to bring transparency to the world of mass incarceration from the inside and training incarcerated writers to be journalists, so they can participate in the dialogue about criminal legal reform.
