Voices of the Incarcerated - Daily Survival for Lifers

Heidi • March 6, 2023

"From day one I’ve known prison sees me as worthless."

The following excerpt is from a larger essay published at Prison Writers, a non-profit organization that offers uncensored, personal stories and thoughtful essays from incarcerated citizens across the country about what really goes on inside the secretive world of prison corrections. The editorial team works with incarcerated writers one-on-one to improve their writing and communications skills.


*****


I was instantly rushed to solitary confinement since I can’t be trusted to behave. I received the one-hour express check-in instead of the regular seven-hour prison check-in. My first day of prison I weighed 180 pounds. I was in solitary confinement from 9-6-2011 to 7-27-2022.


The prison staffing kept getting lower. It got to the point where we had no idea if the next meal would be a paper bag or a plastic tray. The entire solitary confinement building was sent elsewhere. I got sent to the death row building four hours away.


At death row, I started writing my journal in May 2018. My journal is current 7,416 pages. Over time I have noticed my writing ability improve.


When I left death row I weighed 120 pounds. Towards the end, death row was giving meals consisting of six ounces total.


I essentially have zero details of my relatives. I don't even know if they're dead or alive. They don't even reply to my letters. I don't have anyone's phone number so I've never made a phone call in prison. My last visit was years ago.


It's best to give people the benefit of the doubt. You only get to see one page of their book. If you could see their entire book, you would completely understand why they are the way they are.


*****


Read the full essay "They Put Me On Death Row Even Though I Didn't Have a Death Sentence" by Cesar Hernandez, a contributing writer with Prison Writers.



new homepage
By Heidi August 9, 2025
Felony Murder Elimination Project officially launches the organization's new website and web address: fmeproject.org
Faith leaders Demetrius Minor, and Fr. Dustin Feddor deliver a petition to the Florida State Capitol
By Heidi August 7, 2025
Florida religious leaders are asking Gov. Ron DeSantis to pause executions after more persons were put to death in one year since the death penalty was reinstated.
California Rehabilitation Center will close next year (Photo: Damian Dovarganes/Associated Press)
By Heidi August 6, 2025
California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation intends to close the California Rehabilitation Center in Norco, CA, in 2026, saving the state $150m.
logo- felony murder elimination proct
By Heidi August 5, 2025
Felony Murder Elimination Project is conducting an Impact Study on California’s felony murder rule, and is seeking more community input in relevant responses
Illustration: Gabriel Hongsdusit/CalMatters
By Heidi August 1, 2025
Featured in CalMatters is the case of Nathan Gould in context of SB 672, would allow Californians sentenced to LWOP that occurred at age 25 years or younger chance to go before the Parole Board after serving 25 years of their sentence.
State of Texas with handcuffs
By Heidi July 31, 2025
"Texas Hold'em: How the Prison System Keeps its Grip on Parole-Eligible People" is written by Kwaneta Harris, and appears on her Substack page, Write or Die.
Charles McCrory (Photo: Alabama Department of Correctios)
By Heidi July 29, 2025
In 1985, Charles McCrory was wrongly convicted for the murder of his wife in Alabama with “bite mark” evidence, now considered junk science and a leading contributor of wrongful convictions.
Robert Roberson in a phone interview (Photo: Gideon Rogers/Texas Public Radio)
By Heidi July 28, 2025
Robert Roberson is entitled to a new trial, as the Texas-planned State-sponsored murder of a man many believe to be innocent is the furthest thing from justice.
illustration of an open boksyl
By Heidi July 26, 2025
"From Brilliant Mind to Broken Prison System: My Journey Through Incarceration, Re-entry, and Redemption" is written by formerly incarcerated writer Anthony McCarary
The former Dozier School for Boys campus in Marianna, FL (Alicia Vera/The Marshall Project)
By Heidi July 25, 2025
An investigative report from The Marshall Project found at least 50 boys who stayed at two different abusive reform schools in Florida ended up on death row.
Show More