TW: Suicide, self-harm
On the last day of Adam Collier’s life, he had breakfast in his cell in Kern Valley State Prison. He wrote two letters, one to his mother, the other to the guard who would later find his body.
During the previous four years in prison, Collier had been hospitalized for mental health crises 14 times. His many letters to family and friends wobbled between lucidity and gibberish. His medical records proffered graphic descriptions of self-harm. Collier had originally landed in prison for exposing himself to women in public while high on meth. Ashamed and delusional, he tried to castrate himself with a broken plastic cup because he believed it was God’s desire.
The prison system’s response to Collier’s increasing anguish?
Transfers.
Between 2016 and 2020, the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation transferred Collier 39 times, ping-ponging him between mental health crisis beds and increasingly high security prisons at a pace so fast he told his mother, Susan Ottele: “I’m fucking dizzy.”
On Oct. 17, 2020, at age 43, he killed himself.
Mental Health in California prisons:
“It makes my mental health worse,” said Steven Saucedo, 48, who has transferred at least eight times since last June, including relocations to attend court, CalMatters data shows. “You’re always on the move.”
To read more about Adam Collier's story, and hear from other inmates with a mental health diagnosis attempting to navigate their mental health in California Prisons, as well as the advocates working on their behalf, see this detailed investigation from CalMatters.
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